..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
