He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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