id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
