yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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