You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
