You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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