I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My legs feel like baby dolphins
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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