Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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