It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
