Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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