shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
