I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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