So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
