I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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