I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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