This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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