There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
