I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
