I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
