If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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