sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
