You really coming over, don't trick.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
