apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
