Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
