Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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