dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
