What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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