drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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