I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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