I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
