so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
