I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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