Farmville is her only friend.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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