Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
