Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
