sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I could make wine with my vomit
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
