What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
