when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
should my penis look like a turkey
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
