I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
