ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
