I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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