shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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