my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
