maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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