You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
