Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just cut my nipple shaving
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
