I just pynch a tree in the face
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
