hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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