Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
