So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
